Ep. 9 - To the Mothers

Admitting our shortcomings or our flaws to our children is not weakness. It is strength. Don't be anything other than yourself for your little ones. It is good for you and for them.

You are doing better than you think!

Transcript

This is It’s Only in Trying — a weekly podcast about the beautiful messiness of becoming.

You can’t be everything… and you shouldn’t be. You only need to be yourself.

I want to say something to the mothers out there - and, really, I’m saying it out loud for my own benefit as well. You are doing amazing. Whatever level of effort you can give today, that is plenty. And the same goes for tomorrow, and the day after that. I mean, all the things we’ve heard apply to us as mother’s, too. You can’t pour from an empty cup, you can’t give more than 100%, and on and on.

Stop setting unrealistic and unsustainable expectations for yourself. Be there for your kids, but don’t be everything for them. Hold their hands, but don’t forget to let go and let them learn a little on their own.

You don’t need to have a craft or game ready at all times for them. If we teach our children to rely on us for everything, then they will never be able to grow their own wings.

There is a balance that we all need to strike between being a parent and being a guide. It is both too much pressure to put on ourselves to be everything and also such a detriment to our children if we keep trying to pretend to be more than we can actually be.

Admitting our shortcomings or our flaws to our children is not weakness. It is strength. Now, I’m not saying dump your traumas on your children - that is what a therapist or best friend is for - depending how much support you need. But showing our children that we are flawed or aren’t wonder women, is not a bad thing. It is human. Apologize when it is necessary, set boundaries when it is prudent, and just listen when it is needed. You will not do it 100 percent correct every time. There is no way that is possible.

But giving yourself room to grow and learn is the only way that we can teach our children to do the same.

You are doing amazing. I promise you.

Moral of the story? Be yourself when raising your children. They don’t need anyone other than you, exactly as you are.

Just remember, you’re doing better than you think.